why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize