The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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