If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dick very happy bro
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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