it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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