I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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