well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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