i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize