WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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