I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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