I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize