Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize