I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize