I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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