i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize