Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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