so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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