mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize