i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize