cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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