how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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