He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize