you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize