Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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