Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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