Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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