u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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