How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize