The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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