Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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