I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize