Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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