Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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