remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize