oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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