Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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