made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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