just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize