if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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