Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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