Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize