you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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