Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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