I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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