he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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