i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize