I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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