How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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