how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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