I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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