I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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